australia’s finest: the tim tam slam

well, this is first for icf in so many ways. our first male guest blogger! our first australian guest blogger! our first scrumptious chocolate biscuit treat! anyway, i’m honored that he’s honored, so let’s get to it…!

i am deeply honored to guest blog for icf and its illustrious founder. akp and i have actually never met; i know of her only through the reputation of this blog, and because my better half, L, was a roomie of hers many moons ago. i look forward to meeting akp because i know it will involve an extremely fun conversation over a sublime meal.

i take the liberty of breaking a couple of icf conventions. to begin, i am not blogging about a recipe, but rather of a store-bought product, for two reasons – first, it is a very special treat from my home country of australia, and second, i am introducing not only the treat itself, but a particularly marvelous way of eating it. this brings me to my second break from convention: my photos must show a face to demonstrate this unique method of consumption.

the treat in question is the tim tam, australia’s most famous and scrumptious chocolate biscuit (aside: that’s what we call cookies down under. L always complains about this so-called misuse of english, but the italians call cookies “biscotti,” the french call them “biscuit” and the brits say “biscuit” with the same spelling and different accent, so we aussies can’t be that wrong.)

according to wikipedia, the tim tam “is composed of two layers of chocolate malted biscuit, separated by a light chocolate cream filling, and coated in a thin layer of textured chocolate.” this definition is correct, but is far too clinical to express how orgasmic it is.

culturally, you could think of tim tams as being the “oreos of australia,” but my unbiased research suggests that the tim tam is better. for one thing, one tim tam contains more fat – on both a relative and absolute basis – than one oreo. it is also made using sugar rather than corn syrup.

tim tams deliberately come in packets of 11 – an awkward prime number so that there will almost always be a fight over the last piece (unless your group contains 11 people, which is highly unlikely.)

enough of tim tam culture for now. the marvelous method of consumption i wish to share with you is the tim tam slam, in which the tim tam – essentially a porous wafer when you remove the multiple layers of chocolate surrounding it – is momentarily used as a straw for hot beverage (typically tea or coffee). the steps to perform a slam are:

1. prepare. bite off two opposing corners of a tim tam.

2. suck. insert the tim tam into a hot beverage, and suck hard. you must leave all pretenses of modesty aside; the objective is to suck as much drink up through the biscuit as possible. if necessary, tilt the mug toward you to bring the liquid closer to the rim of the mug.

3. gobble. this is the dramatic climax of the slam. as the hot beverage permeates the tim tam you will feel it melt. stuff it into your mouth just before the point of no return (where the biscuit turns into molten chocolate mush, slips from your gooey fingers and splashes into the drink).

4. savor. as well as the chocolate buzz, congratulate yourself for accomplishing a neat parlor trick that many – including my grad school adviser, one of nasa’s most accomplished astronauts – have failed to master. for the record, all bowdoin grads who i know have tried this have succeeded on their first or second attempts.

L and i hope to see akp soon and introduce her to the tim tam slam.

[this post cracks me up every time i read it. plus, i want a tim tam. can’t wait to see both of you crazy kids!]

update! apparently tim tams are available in the states at target. next time someone goes, please pick me up a pack!

delicata squash

do you know what a delicata squash is? yeah, me neither. until one appeared in the box. (see? i told you the box was going to be fun. are we having fun?)

i did some research on this so-called “delicata,” and here is what i learned:

“available year round, delicata squash are best during august to october and can be kept for 7 to 8 months. it is also known as potato squash, a sweet potato squash or a bohemian squash.” [source]

“delicata squash is a nice mild tasting and delicious squash.” [source]

“delicata is an heirloom squash, meaning it was grown for generations before the need to ship vegetables thousands of miles still intact changed the way produce is grown in this country…you don’t have to wield a cleaver to hack through the shell…you can eat the skin after roasting it.” [source]

well now…! all this made me want to run to my kitchen bake up my squash immediately.

i started by washing it well, since i wasn’t going to peel it. then i cut it open and scooped out the seeds.

and into a baking dish. i drizzled it with olive oil, and sprinkled it with salt, pepper, dried rosemary and some garlic powder.

bake at 375 degrees until it was soft, about 30 minutes (but it depends on how ripe your squash is and how soft you like it).

while the squash itself was baking, i cleaned the seeds and laid them out on a lined baking sheet.

i sprayed them with some sunflower oil (but any oil would do) and sprinkled them with salt and tossed them in the oven (with the squash) for about 15 minutes or until golden.

smaller than pumpkin seeds, they have a great crunch and go well with a beer!

caramelized red pearl onions

how cute are these little suckers?! this is the kind of thing i see at the grocery store and just BUY without thinking. like some girls can’t resist cute shoes, i can’t resist cute baby red onions. (okay, i can’t resist cute shoes either, but that would be a whole different kind of blog…)

i should have put a postage stamp next to them or something so you could get an idea of the size… they would fit comfortably on a quarter. does that help?

it took me awhile to figure out what to do with them, but finally i decided to get them drunk and caramelized them. (although that makes me sound a bit like a predator)

start by cutting off the tops and bottoms and peeling. this took, as you can imagine, FOR-EVER.

then put them in a large sautee pan over medium heat with a little olive oil, salt, pepper and a sprinkle of sugar.

i let them hang out until they were pretty soft, then i added the wine.

drink up, my pretties! i let the wine cook down until it turned into a sticky little sauce and the onions got all caramelize-y.

i think this would make a pretty rad side dish for thanksgiving, or even a “relish” to go on top of pork or turkey.

pecan pie

this one is from the archives! he found it in his email from march 2006.

they look like mini pecan pies, and i can tell from the setting it was taken at my mom’s house… but i don’t for the life of me remember the recipe!

pretty cute, though, huh? i could use one or two right about now…

leek and potato soup

another leek recipe – this time the most comforting of comfort foods.

start by preparing your leeks, and dicing about three cups of potatoes, peeled.

add both the leeks and the potatoes to a tablespoon of butter and saute until the leeks are soft, but not browned.

add two cups of chicken broth and salt and pepper.

simmer for about 30 minutes, or until the potatoes are soft enough to squiiiish into a mush.

you could probably throw the soup into a blender at this point, but i really like the mushy, chunky texture you get from just squishing the potatoes with the back of a big spoon.

now add about a cup of milk – give or take based on the texture – adjust the seasonings to taste and enjoy!

[this recipe came from jane brody via my mother]

art and soul

this monday, i am proud to introduce my first guest restaurant review! this friend and fellow press flack coauthors a monthly dine-about-town blog that is funny and on point. i love their two-person review style!

c says…

for october’s selection, i opted for art and soul on capitol hill – i blame top chef masters given that art smith was a contestant and chef/purveyor of this establishment. apparently, it’s one of the places to be seen if you’re a dork who considers politicians, lobbyists and strategists to be celebrities.

the menu offers up a southern flare and pays homage to seasonal ingredients. i chose the scallops with sweet potato mash, and ham (more like thick slab bacon) with greens and fried green tomatoes on the side. the scallops were hearty and paired nicely with the saltiness of the ham and the sweetness of the sweet potato mash, which was incredible all on its own. i ordered the fried green tomatoes expecting 3-5, but out came probably a dozen of the little suckers. i can’t remember if i’ve ever had them before, but i’m officially hooked. they were amazing.

my only complaint with art and soul (and not sure many people would find this as a bad thing), but our meal lasted all of 45 minutes: from being seated, to ordering, to eating, to clearing of the table. the ambiance is lovely and the food fantastic, but it did have a “treat ‘em and street ‘em” feel – but hey, we are in the throes of reforming health care, so maybe that was apropos.

——————–

j says…

it was a comfortable fall night when c picked the liaison hotel’s ground-floor restaurant for our october dinner. the city has been insanely busy this season so the immediate seating when we arrived was a bit surprising, even with our open table reservation.

both deciding to skip the appetizer – yes, i skipped the mussels – and only do a glass of wine each rather than a bottle, this night was like speed-dating. i opted for the butter squash ravioli with seasoned vegetables. for an added bonus, i had to have a side of the buttermilk mashed potatoes. the proportions are plentiful and the food was, as standard, bursting with flavor. it had been several months since i had dined at “art and soul” but it was certainly as i remember it: classic, comfortable and convenient.

for those looking for a true dc experience, the decor is simple as not to compete with the powerhouse personalities lounging and dining within the restaurant (on the night of our dinner, senator ben “benator” nelson was there). the service is reliably efficient. and the evening always seems to leave a smile on my tummy.

art and soul – 415 new jersey ave nw, 202.393.7777

best roasted potatoes

this is a twist on several classics that i picked up over at tasty kitchen. and i mean, who doesn’t love roasted potatoes, roasted garlic and white wine, right? seems like a no brainer.

start by cutting potatoes into bite sizes. ree used new potatoes, but i used good old baking potatoes. i’m sure yukon golds would rock, too, but we use what we have around, right? also slice the tops off several heads (HEADS. not cloves!) of garlic and i added a few shallots as well.

sprinkle with salt, pepper and (my addition) dried rosemary and drizzle with olive oil. make sure you get oil all down in the garlic.

then – and this is the brilliant part – add about a 1/3 of a cup of… white wine!

cover your pan tightly with aluminum foil and bake at 375 for 40 minutes or until the potatoes are cooked.

then take off the foil and bake another 15-20 minutes at 450 degrees to brown everything.

brilliant, right? wine-steamed and roasted potatoes and garlic. this should be its own food group.

we garnished with chopped parsley and some grated parm since there was some lying around. i also ate mine on a bed of lettuce. not being irish, i had to ease the guilt of having JUST POTATOES for dinner somehow…

cinnamon sugar marshmallows

before i could write this blog post, or even start the recipe for that matter, i had to get my head around marshmAAAAllows (not marshmEEEEllows, which, when you spell phonetically like i do, makes much more sense…). apparently, there’s an easy explanation, and for that we turn to our old buddy wikipedia:

“the traditional recipe used an extract from the mucilaginous root of the marsh mallow plant, a shrubby herb (Althaea officinalis), instead of gelatin…stems of marsh mallow were peeled to reveal the soft and spongy pith with a texture similar to manufactured marshmallow. this pith was boiled in sugar syrup and dried to produced a soft, chewy confection.”

it grew in a marsh. and it was called a mallow plant. get it? i’ll never spell it wrong again!

it even has a pretty little flower:

from wiki

enough with the history-slash-spelling lesson. on to the sweet stuff!

marshmallows

one cup cold water, divided
three 1/4 ounce packets of unflavored gelatin (buy it near the jello)
2 cups sugar (the regular granulated kind – not to be confused with the confectioners below…)
2/3 cup light corn syrup
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. vanilla
one candy thermometer (important… borrow one from a friend. thanks, miss lynn!)
non-stick (flavor-less) cooking spray (also vital!)
1/3 cup potato starch (or…)
1/3 confectioners sugar (…or 2/3 cup confectioners sugar and no potato starch)
2 tbsp. cinnamon (optional)

start by soaking your gelatin in 1/2 cup cold water. let it sit for at least 15 minutes while you start the sugar a-melting.

in a large sauce pan over low heat, dissolve the (granulated) sugar, corn syrup and salt in the other 1/2 cup of water.

when the sugar is dissolved, attach the thermometer to the side of the pot and turn up the heat. you want it to reach 240 degrees. don’t stir it! remember swiiirrrlll?

[editor’s/mother’s note: please be very very careful – there’s nothing hotter than hot sugar and if it gets on your skin it will stick and keep burning you. and i love you, so be careful!]

when the sugar hits the right temp, pour it CAREFULLY! into the bowl with the gelatin. use a kitchenaid or hand mixer to beat it. slowly increase the speed until the mixture gets white and stiff.

then beat for another 10 to 20 minutes (less if you’re using an industrial kitchenaid, more if you have a whimpy hand mixer). you’re adding the air for a light, cloud-like texture.

add the vanilla and mix for another 30 seconds.

now comes the challenging part, and just remember – non stick spray is your best friend!!

line a pan with parchment or aluminum foil and spray. spray your spatula, and your hands too, if you’re smart.

“pour” (and by that i mean WRESTLE) the sugar into the pan. it has a texture and a stickiness like nothing you’ve ever seen.

respray your spatula whenever you need to, but spread and pat the sugar into the most uniform layer you can manage.

let sit uncovered for four hours, then remove from pan (which will be easy as pie if you lubed it enough) and cut into whatever shapes you like. (did i mention to spray your knife, counter, hands or cookie cutters? this stuff is intense, trust me.)

finally, roll the shapes or cubes in a mixture of confectioners sugar and/or potato starch and cinnamon, if you’d like. now they can be saved in an airtight container for up to two weeks, and don’t stick to anything anymore!

perfect in hot chocolate or as a seasonal hostess gift.

these didn’t take a tremendous amount of work, per se, but they did take a lot of time. however, they offer quite the bang for your buck!

pastry-wrapped poached pears

don’t ask me how i found this site, but these pastry-wrapped poached pears just looked so pretty, i had to give it a try.

now, if you followed that link, you might have noticed something interesting about the site. it’s in hungarian. and i no speak hungarian. even google translator had trouble with it. crazy language…

so i did my best to imitate the recipe. i’m sure i didn’t get it exactly the same, but mine were still tasty and almost as pretty.

i started with three pears. three pears for three diners.

i peeled the pears and added them to a pot of red wine, mulling spices, the juice of half a lemon and about a tablespoon of sugar. (they don’t turn out sweet at all, so if you want sweet, add more sugar here!) if you don’t have mulling spices, add cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, allspice, etc. and add enough water to cover the pears.

bring mixture to a simmer and cook the pears until when you stick a knife in them they are fairly soft. however, you don’t want to get pear mush…

take them out of the wine and let them cool as much as you can.

then roll out a sheet of pie crust or puff pastry (i used pre-made, frozen pie crust) as thin as you can get it and still be able to handle it. cut the pastry into thin strips, about a third of an inch, and begin wrapping around the pears from the very top.

don’t overlap your strips too much, but do make sure they are touching and stuck together well. continue down the whole pear.

stand the pears up in a baking dish, and toss them in the fridge while you preheat your oven to 425 degrees.

i also mixed the juice of half a lemon with some confectioners sugar and drizzled it over the top at this point as a sweet little glaze.

bake the pears at 425 for about 20 minutes,

then lower the heat to 375 and continue baking another 20 minutes or until the crust is a nice golden brown.

even though my crust fell a little, they are pretty impressive-looking, right? and delicious, too!

depression link to processed food

“eating a diet high in processed food increases the risk of depression, research suggests.”

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