australia’s finest: the tim tam slam

In guest on November 16, 2009 at 2:08 pm

well, this is first for icf in so many ways. our first male guest blogger! our first australian guest blogger! our first scrumptious chocolate biscuit treat! anyway, i’m honored that he’s honored, so let’s get to it…!

i am deeply honored to guest blog for icf and its illustrious founder. akp and i have actually never met; i know of her only through the reputation of this blog, and because my better half, L, was a roomie of hers many moons ago. i look forward to meeting akp because i know it will involve an extremely fun conversation over a sublime meal.

i take the liberty of breaking a couple of icf conventions. to begin, i am not blogging about a recipe, but rather of a store-bought product, for two reasons – first, it is a very special treat from my home country of australia, and second, i am introducing not only the treat itself, but a particularly marvelous way of eating it. this brings me to my second break from convention: my photos must show a face to demonstrate this unique method of consumption.

the treat in question is the tim tam, australia’s most famous and scrumptious chocolate biscuit (aside: that’s what we call cookies down under. L always complains about this so-called misuse of english, but the italians call cookies “biscotti,” the french call them “biscuit” and the brits say “biscuit” with the same spelling and different accent, so we aussies can’t be that wrong.)


according to wikipedia, the tim tam “is composed of two layers of chocolate malted biscuit, separated by a light chocolate cream filling, and coated in a thin layer of textured chocolate.” this definition is correct, but is far too clinical to express how orgasmic it is.


culturally, you could think of tim tams as being the “oreos of australia,” but my unbiased research suggests that the tim tam is better. for one thing, one tim tam contains more fat – on both a relative and absolute basis – than one oreo. it is also made using sugar rather than corn syrup.

tim tams deliberately come in packets of 11 – an awkward prime number so that there will almost always be a fight over the last piece (unless your group contains 11 people, which is highly unlikely.)

enough of tim tam culture for now. the marvelous method of consumption i wish to share with you is the tim tam slam, in which the tim tam – essentially a porous wafer when you remove the multiple layers of chocolate surrounding it – is momentarily used as a straw for hot beverage (typically tea or coffee). the steps to perform a slam are:

1. prepare. bite off two opposing corners of a tim tam.


2. suck. insert the tim tam into a hot beverage, and suck hard. you must leave all pretenses of modesty aside; the objective is to suck as much drink up through the biscuit as possible. if necessary, tilt the mug toward you to bring the liquid closer to the rim of the mug.


3. gobble. this is the dramatic climax of the slam. as the hot beverage permeates the tim tam you will feel it melt. stuff it into your mouth just before the point of no return (where the biscuit turns into molten chocolate mush, slips from your gooey fingers and splashes into the drink).


4. savor. as well as the chocolate buzz, congratulate yourself for accomplishing a neat parlor trick that many – including my grad school adviser, one of nasa’s most accomplished astronauts – have failed to master. for the record, all bowdoin grads who i know have tried this have succeeded on their first or second attempts.


L and i hope to see akp soon and introduce her to the tim tam slam.

[this post cracks me up every time i read it. plus, i want a tim tam. can’t wait to see both of you crazy kids!]

update! apparently tim tams are available in the states at target. next time someone goes, please pick me up a pack!

  1. Haha, I’m glad he demonstrated the proper technique of closing his eyes in bliss at the end. =)

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